I am a spectre in my own home . . .

At least that's how I've been feeling these past two days. The days have been dragging and I'm trying hard to keep everything together just long enough for us to get on our plane to Milwaukee on Wednesday.

Yesterday was awful! All three kids were acting like something out of a bad horror movie! At one point I had gone into one of my Starbucks stores, where I was greeted with warm smiles and happy hellos.

Little did they know I was about to lose it right then and there. I almost did until one of the guys looked at me and his conversation went from, "How's it going! I haven't seen you for a while!" to "Are you okay? What's wrong . . . you look so sad!"

I try very hard to be a cheery person. That's part of the reason I've worked in retail for so long, and since I've been working at Starbucks, I've been accused on several occasions of being too happy too early in the morning. So when I have people on the outside asking me questions like this . . . it's not a good thing.

I did however get through the day and used my frustration to get out nearly 1,100 words on my novel in about 1 1/2 hours . . . which is pretty good for me.

At least that ended that day on a high note.

Today had it's ups and downs . . . the kids did have to endure not one but two doctor's appointments and for the most part they did well, but when we got home, Kid #1 and #3 were at each other's throats again.

Maybe it's a brother thing. I know I got into knock-down-drag-out fights with my brother, but even still I don't remember my mom getting that involved with them.

Maybe that's a clue for me.

The only child who WASN'T being obnoxious at any point in time today was Kid #2. Tonight I gave her a big hug and thank you for being so helpful. She appreciated it and I hope that means more of that behavior from that side of my kid-world.

But what I find the most frustating above all else is lack of listening skills in my home. It honestly makes me feel like I am a spectre, that I don't exist in my own home.

And what makes me even more frustrated is that the kids are not the only ones guilty of this. Hubby is just as bad as the kids.

I know my husband works hard and this past year has been really bad professionally and economically, however . . . on his request I made a "Honey-Do" list for him. On that list are only 5 things.

I made this list nearly a year ago . . . and only one thing has been crossed off.

When I left tonight to get some writing done (only 600 words tonight - 1 hour of work), for the first time in a really, really long time, I wanted to run away from home.

Of course, I didn't, but the fact that I wanted to so badly scared the crap out of me!

So now I have one more day until vacation . . . and I hoping to get through it . . .

Without making a run for it!