OKAY . . . I've already broken my resolution about writing here more often. But I have a REALLY good excuse.

I brought my cat home from the pet hospital today to die.

In Dec. 1995, I was really stressed and frustrated because hubby and I were trying to get preggers and not having any luck. All of our friends were expecting, but it just wasn't happening for us. I was getting really depressed so my hubby agreed to getting a cat.

I didn't realize we would be getting two, but we did. Turned out the humane society didn't have a lot of cats to choose from at that time . . . except for a big, fuzzy long-haired cat named Bob and his brother, DP (don't ask me what the DP stood for). DP took to my hubby almost instantly, as did Bob to me.

Nearly 10 months after we took them home, I had Kid #1.

They were GREAT cats and I couldn't have asked for sweeter pets for our children. For all the stories I heard about pets being jealous when children came into the picture, not one of them happened to us.

Unfortunately we lost DP in June 2004 to a chronic condition. After we lost him, Bob in some ways took over DP's personality. He suddenly became very clingy and didn't leave the yard much. On the good side, he was able to tolerate our dog, Sadie, who's incredibly territorial.

Anyway, about a month ago Bob stopped eating and he's gotten progressively worse since then. After X-rays, blood tests and ultrasounds, we checked him into a really great pet hospital on Friday.

I found out last night that even though they can't put an exact finger on what's wrong with him, it looks like he coming to the end . . .

And I am devastated.

Tomorrow I find out what the results of his liver tests are (although I know his liver is failing), and I need to make some decisions about how long to let him go on before we let him go.

So even though I hope I can write more over the next week, now you know why if I don't.

Sorry about the venting . . . I needed it!